jinxybee replied to your post: Four months later

I am experiencing the whole blended family thing for the first time. It’s not easy! I am glad the kids get along.

Actually, the kids of the two families haven’t met at all, since Mindy’s are here and mine are in St. Louis and Alabama. They will all meet for the first time at our wedding in July. THAT will be an interesting meeting, to be sure… my tallest daughter is 5’ 2”, and Mindy’s daughter is 5’ 11” today, though we both expect another growth spurt from her at some point. Also, my daughters are products of an Alabama education and religious upbringing, while Mindy’s kids are very worldly and open-minded. There is going to be some huge culture shock going on with some of them…

ladyofleisuredc replied to your post: Four months later

so sweet, my son reacts the same way until he gets to know the person better so I always prepare my dates (if it is long term like you and Mindy)

Mindy had warned me that he might not warm to me immediately, but it was still somewhat of a shock to see his reaction that day. He did warm to the situation some later that day when we all went bowling, and I was feeling much better about everything by the end of the day. If he had not warmed to me it would have made things difficult, but it would not have changed our plans. I can get along with anyone and everyone, so while difficult, we would have made it work. I am relieved that this, however, was not the case.

Four months ago I met Mindy’s kids for the first time. She had undergone the same vetting with my kids when she came to Alabama in July. She hit it off with my oldest (Hayden’s mom), but wasn’t exactly sure how well the other two accepted her. We ate with those two again when she was back out in September, and came away feeling much more comfortable with them (she even received hugs from each of them).

So a couple of weeks after that, it was my turn. Mindy decided to have us all eat lunch at their favorite Brazilian restaurant. The Girl and I seemed to connect pretty quickly during that lunch, but then again I think she connects quickly with just about everyone. The Boy, though…

I was a little concerned with The Boy. He didn’t really say anything at all when we picked them up, and when we reached the restaurant he took out a book and started reading. He didn’t really interact with me at all. Needless to say, that made me nervous.

Today is his birthday, and last night Mindy and I took him to that same restaurant for his birthday dinner. What a difference in those four months! Last night he was active and talkative, telling jokes (he was responsible for the turtle joke last night) and just generally enjoying himself. He and I have been getting along fine since I moved here, but being at the same restaurant really highlighted it all for me.

Since my kids aren’t really kids any longer (the oldest is 28 and the youngest is 22), we aren’t blending families like so many other remarried couples. However, we are still presenting them with a new love in their parent’s life, and that can be tricky at best. I am so very happy to see *our* kids accept the new person and make them feel like a part of the family. And being a part of this family here? Hell, they’re all so much smarter than me that I am definitely being kept on my toes, and I’m loving every minute of it!!!!

moobasworld:

jtgc:

moobasworld:

I’m doing homework and he’s busy at his computer. I ask if he wants to see my boobs and he doesn’t answer, just continues typing - ON TUMBLR!!!! Wondering if I should worry… ;)

For the record, and so I don’t come off as one of “those” guys, she didn’t ask me to my face… she…

How ‘bout you, tumblr, do you wanna see my boobs?

I have to admit, they are pretty damned spectacular…

moobasworld:

I’m doing homework and he’s busy at his computer. I ask if he wants to see my boobs and he doesn’t answer, just continues typing - ON TUMBLR!!!! Wondering if I should worry… ;)

For the record, and so I don’t come off as one of “those” guys, she didn’t ask me to my face by leaning over and saying “Hey, wanna see my boobs?”. No, instead she sent it as FANMAIL, which of course I didn’t see until I refreshed my tumblr when I was done with my post. The moment I read it, she got her reply.

And I *certainly* didn’t hear any complaints about the reply…

Hmph.

I had a couple to share today, but I’ll save the other one for later… maybe throw in a Truthful Thursday just to keep everyone on their toes.

Anyway, I have discovered a couple of character flaws recently, and I know the subject of this TT is due to conditioning. You see, from 1987 on, I was solely responsible for all familial living expenses when I was still married, and of course was responsible for my own afterward as well. While I’m not on the poverty level, I make substantially less than the average for my profession (the curse of working for a very small liberal-arts college). There just wasn’t a lot of excess money, and many more times than not I was having to worry about how to pay that doctor bill, or that electric bill, or even how to feed my family until the next payday. Even when my children were older and my ex went back to work, it was the case of her money being hers, and my money being ours. Twenty-some years of that mindset is hard to overcome.

Now, however, I am in a relationship with a woman who insists on paying for bills, and rent, and food, and even helping out one of my daughters when she needed a little extra cash recently. This has been difficult for me, and I hate that. I feel like I am failing her by not paying for everything. I know I’m not, but it is still so very hard to get over the feeling that it is expected of me. After all, I’m supposed to be the sole provider, right? I was told that by my ex when we were trying to reconcile, and since that had pretty much always been the case, who was I to argue? But Mindy not only happily (well, maybe happily isn’t the word…) shares in the bills, at times she pays for food, and gas, and all sorts of things when we are out. And I sit there and think, “That’s my job, and because she is doing it for me, I am failing her and being less of a man for her.”

I know. Really, I do. I’m working hard to overcome it, and she is patient with me. I honestly know the truth of the situation, and I am very happy to be in a relationship with someone who understands that I do have a problem with it, but she definitely has her work cut out for her in terms of deprogramming me.

She wanted to get to know me better, so the two of us did lunch at Chili’s today.

I think she is still happy I’m part of the family now.

Actually, it was quite fun, and we get along great. I’m looking forward to our next lunch.

Driving through Ogden was treacherous tonight. A storm dumped around 6 inches of snow in a very short time, and the roads weren’t plowed at all. Visibility was bad, traffic was bad, and it wasn’t any better coming back. However, there was no snow in Salt Lake City itself, and maybe three inches at most where we live, so the adage I heard today was true… if you want the weather to change in Utah, wait 5 minutes or drive 5 miles.

Oh, and Heather’s party was great. Totally worth the drive!!

Just curious… see, Mindy and I are planning this little social gathering* in Montgomery Alabama, and we’d like as many of our tumblr friends there as possible.

* Oh, and the name of the social gathering? How about “Mindy and Rick get married”?

wickedpissahyall:

elvisbrady:

I will play this game. And I will win.

Why not, I might be brave enough?!

Oh, why not? I’m feeling frisky today.